On Record
by Crystal Remnant
Summary: 30 drabbles with your favourite Cyborgs. Ratings vary from K to M15. Angst, Romance Humor mainly. R&R Chapter: Milk
1. Chapter 1

_Inspiration drove me to write this. Short little thing that really doesn't have a point…It's good for a small snigger…and it's not Shonen-ai of any kind either. Don't like them in this section…ah well. This does have reference to 3x9! _

_DISCLAIMED_

**Title: **Sleeping Beauty  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary: **He was almost looked to peaceful to wake from his slumber…

Jet was bored.

Bored, bored, bored, bored…

Being stuck on watch wasn't exactly his idea of spending a Saturday. He wouldn't even be on watch if he hadn't lost to Henrich in that **stupid** game of poker. But no; he thought he had the _perfect_ hand. Two queens and two kings, but the German bluffed better. Feigning a loosing hand through small grimaces when the cards were dealt and hesitating when discarding.

"Bastard," He hissed out loud.

He sighed and started picking at the grass again. It was the only thing to do besides needling Joe about…

_Wait…_

"Hey, 009?" he called out sitting up from against the tree.

His partner was nowhere in sight. For a brief moment, Jet's heart skipped a beat. Joe never went missing from watch. _**Ever**. _Had he been taken? Had he been taken down in silence? What if—

Shifting in the branches above him notified him of the presence that had been there for sometime.

"Or you could be asleep," he said seeing the familiar yellow scarf appearing from on of the branches above him. He stood up, using the tree as a sturdy hold and stretched after completing his first task. Looking up into the tree once more, he took a step back to try and see his comrade better. Surely enough, the sleeping cyborg was up there, and looking quite comfortable.

Jet sighed and scratched the back of his head. _Shouldn't he be on watch too?_ He thought.

"Hey, 009!" he called out to him.

The brunette didn't move.

"JOE!" he tried again, but the man up in the tree only shifted slightly. "You can't be that much of a heavy sleeper…" he mumbled while trying to figure out what to do.

But while he was thinking, the flutter of wings went unheard as a dove came and rested on the brunette's leg that was left on the branch. It turned around, cooed and another fluttered over, this time landing on the cyborg's foot. Jet looked up at the sight finally coming up with a plan and a clever retort for when 009 woke, only to have it vanish at the peaceful sight.

He was almost looked to peaceful to wake from his slumber…

_Almost, _but not peaceful enough.

Walking around to the other side of the tree, Jet looked up once more before doing what he thought of.

He kicked the tree, sending Joe out of it with a small scream and the doves fluttering off in a different direction.

After a dull 'thud', Jet took it as his queue. "I never knew you were such a heavy sleeper!" Jet commented while coming back around to the other side of the tree with a smirk. Joe on the other hand didn't look too pleased. He sent the redhead a warning glare which was instantly diffused with a goofy grin which confused him.

"Ah, guess so…how long was I out?" he asked.

"Hell if I know. You just went missing sleeping beauty. You're too quiet for your own good," 002 said matter-of-factly.

"Well, doesn't matter." Joe leaned back, using his hands as steady leavers.

"Geeze…I never seen you nap during these days unless you're sick or injured," he said taking a seat next to his friend. It was true. Back when Black Ghost was a threat, they'd all slept a lot. Mainly due to the fact that fighting really did take its toll on all of them. Those who slept out on the sofas however were made victim to 003's make-up kit. It was then a wicked thought played across his mind. With a smirk he asked, "Does she really keep you up that late?" he asked.

Joe faced his friend with a confused expression before saying, "Huh?"

"Fran. Does she keep you up _that _late?" He asked, his smirk growing into an evil grin.

It took awhile and Jet nearly thought his comrade really was as thick as a brick wall. But when the naïve cyborg finally got it, it was followed by his face going beet red, fluent cussing in both Japanese and English (on both their parts) and a playful murder attempt.

* * *

Well, done. 

Hopefully you'll chose to review, if not, thanks for reading!

-Crystal Remnant


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **Hey everyone, sorry about the wait…I've signed up with "100 Situations" on Livejournal, and it took them awhile to reply to my request. But it's all good now, I'm done waiting! By the way, if anyone wants to join, make a claim or just look around, the URL is:_

_http/ community .livejournal .com /100situations – just remove the spaces._

**Title:** Jealous  
**Rating: **K+  
**Summary: **he could relate…

* * *

He was **not _jealous!_**

"It's a cat man…" Jet said from behind him. "Don't be jealous."

"I am not jealous," he hissed at the American behind him. "You have me mistaken. I'm not jealous of a _cat. _How could it make me? It's just a cat," he said waving him off and declaring his friend delirious.

"Whatever." Jet shrugged before walking away.

He was not jealous. He wasn't jealous of the fact that she was spending more time with the cat than him. He wasn't jealous of the fact that she would sit with 'Gabby' on rainy days with a book while it snuggled close to her. He was _not jealous _of it interrupting their snuggle time in bed just because it didn't want to sleep in its very expensive cat-bed.

"You're so pretty Gabby," she cooed from in the living room.

The cat meowed softly and sickly sweet while urging for her master to continue scratching behind her ear. Complying with its request, she gently scratched behind its ear with one of her finely cared for nails and a small smile on her face.

All the while, Joe half sulked half fumed in the doorway.

"_Right," _He thought. _"That's that. I'm going to go in there and tell her what I think of that damned cat!" _

His resolve set, he marched into the living room and towards the plush sofa, only to be interrupted when the blonde stood and turned to face him with a smile. "Joe, just on time!" she exclaimed in delight.

He blinked in confusion. "Just…on time?"

She nodded. "Yes. I have to go and take Ivan for his walk. Can you take care of Gabby for me? She won't be much hassle, please?" she asked.

There was a brief moment of silence while he contemplated what he could do to the cat while she was out. With a crooked grin he said, "Sure. Go take Ivan on his walk. I'll take care of her."

Walking quickly over to him, she got up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before saying, "Thank you," and promptly leaving the room.

Now he was alone with the _cat. _He didn't call it by its name. Oh no, no…that would be too good for it. The damned thing was anything _but _God's messenger, which his love had named her after. It was more like devil spawn.

He was more of a dog person anyway.

But when he sat down on the sofa, the cat jumped up next to him and lightly pawed at his hand. Looking down at it, he wondered if throwing it out the window would be a good option, only to reconsider a moment later when he had it in mid air, holding it with both his hands. He didn't mean too, but he made eye contact with it for the briefest second.

"Joe…I heard something." Françoise stopped under the umbrella and looked around for the sound. "Hm? What was it?" 

"_Uh…there it is again!" she said moving one of her hands up to her left ear. _

_Joe still confused looked around. "I didn't hear anything…"_

_Without warning she ran off into one of the back alleys of Tokyo, and disappeared nearly out of sight. Following closely, he found her kneeling next to a sodden brown cardboard box, which had been obviously left there. Coming to a stop near her, he looked over her shoulder to find a, what would've been, white kitten with large, round green eyes, soaking wet just like it's cardboard box. _

_Looking up at him, Françoise had a pleading look in her eyes. "Joe, can we take it back?" she asked. _

_He looked at both of them and found similarities in their eyes. Both emeralds, both wide, and both pleading. He shrugged. "You don't have to ask me you know. It's totally up to you if you want to take it with you," he said with a shrug and a small smile. _

_Her smile widened and she picked the cat up and eased it into her coat. "C'mon. Let's get you dry," she said holding it close. _

_The cat's head poked out from the top of her coat where the two sides met at a point and looked at Joe. _

The same eyes looked at him again, but healthier. The Rag doll cat as it was later identified mewed softly making Joe's resolve not so strong anymore. He sighed heavily and set it down on the sofa. He couldn't throw it out the window…

Slumping down onto the sofa in defeat, he rested his head on the back cushion with his eyes closed. But once again, the cat pawed at his hand begging for a pat. He looked down at it after bringing his head back up and gave a small smile.

"She spoils you, you know?" he said while patting it roughly. No matter how rash he was though, it was grateful for the attention and on some level, in his mind, he could relate to the need for affection.

It purred away while he continued to pat it, and soon seconds turned into minutes…

* * *

The routine was when she came home, he would greet her and ask her how her walk was. This ritual came about from lack of anything to do. They couldn't work momentarily as they were all 'dead', and mostly Chang forced G.B to work instead of them to pay for the meals he consumed at the restaurant. But today was different. 

It was silent and he wasn't there.

Looking around, she couldn't find him on first glance so she decided to put a sleeping Ivan in his cot before looking around for him. The first stop was his room, but that was empty. Next, she looked in her room – not there either. So walking downstairs, she met a silver hair German who kindly told her where Joe was.

But after Albert's directions, she found Joe on one of the sofas in the living room with Gabby asleep on his chest. Smiling at the sight – and at herself for being so stupid- she walked over to the side of the sofa and brushed some of the hair away from Joe's face softly. Deciding she wanted a hug, she tried to pick gabby up, only to find that she wouldn't move…

She tried many times after that, trying to get the cat off of him without waking him, only for it to be in vain.

Standing upright, she put her hands on her hips and frowned. All she wanted was to snuggle up to him, and her cat got in the way. She loved Gabby, she really did. From the day she'd brought her home and even when the cat had scratched her. But now, as it snuggled up to him and she couldn't…

She stopped and froze.

"_I'm not jealous…am I?"_

* * *

For once, I decided to change it around so Joe was the jealous one…you never see those types of fan fictions anymore! It's always Fran who gets jealous. But hey, the last part was a little hypocritical. 

-Shrugs-

Love goes out to those who'll review and those who read!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I'm so getting lazy with updating. But tonight is my last night of holidays so I thought I might update just to celebrate. I posted 'Milk' on my LJ ages ago – nearly a year now, I think. Thought it might be nice to bring it to for posting. Once again – I'm too lazy to even type. I could laugh at myself if I wasn't laughing about the fact that my school mates want me to prance around in tights the same colour as the house I'm in. Joyous of all Joys.

Did you know you don't have to do a disclaimer?

* * *

It was his enemy. 

He hated it so much…

To the extent where he could blow up every cow on the planet.

At least then they'd be used for something useful, other than milk.

Like steak.

Steak was good…delicious steak…

"Drink."

Looking up at the woman hovering above him, he could sense the black aura - different from the other people in the room - and they were looking at him as if he was a _psychopath_.

"No."

That solitary glass shook as she slammed her hand onto the table.

"009. Drink it now. It's not going to kill you."

"How do you know that? It could be off and I could die an hour later from food poisoning!"

"Idiot," 002 retorted, feet up on the table.

"You know, I've heard of people who've experiences traumatic events develop fears or phobias…but this is just ridiculous!"

Joe glared at the Brit and mumbled a nearly inaudible, "Like you'd ever know."

_Joe, only about five or six years old was walking along one of the roads with his friend, Merry who cast a glance at him, "Hey Joe, you thirsty?"_

_"Sure, I guess," he replied. _

_Taking his hand she giggled and started dragging him "C'mon then!" _

_"Eh, Merry! Where are we going?" he asked, nearly tripping over his own feet. _

_"The farm!"_

_"The farm? What the hell for?!"_

_He winced when Merry stopped and smacked him over the head "No swearing!"_

_"And the Father says no hitting either! If you weren't a girl…" he mumbled the rest under his breath. But, Merry was girl - he wasn't allowed to hit girls. However, After bickering for awhile, they'd kept walking (or dragged in Joe's case) until they came to a large gate. Merry easily climbed over it and undid it for Joe, who walked straight past her with no 'thank you'– which ultimately annoyed her. _

_Joe looked around while Merry ran up to a old looking house with a veranda. Joe cringed as the smell of barnyard animals and manure wafted and drowned his senses. The sound of chuckling caught his attention and he saw that the brunette was talking with an elderly man. "Merry! Long time no see little one! Oh! Who's this young fellow?" the farmer looked to be about 40, his hair was starting to grey and signs of age appeared on his face. _

_"This is Joe!" she said happily as Joe appeared beside her. _

_"Hiya…" Joe nodded silently and kicked the ground. _

_"Shy little one aren't ya? So, how about something to drink? I think that's the reason you came here in the first place." The farmer laughed when Merry squealed happily, confusing Joe in the process ("Damn it Merry, you don't have to squeal, you know!"). _

_The farmer disappeared inside and came back a moment later with two glasses filled with milk. Merry grinned happily as she was handed hers, but Joe just took his with a look of total bemusement. "Here you go! Now, I have to go get back to work, so enjoy you two!" Merry waited until the farmer was out of sight, and downed the glass as fast as she could. Joe watched on in horror as she drained it quickly. _

_"Your turn!" she said, not realizing she had a milk mustache. _

_He looked down at his glass and glared. _

_"What's it made from?" he asked. _

_Merry blinked in confusion. "You mean…you've never had milk before?" she asked. _

_"Of course I've had it before!" he snapped back, "Just not…drinking it…"_

_"You're kidding?" Merry asked, still unable to believe it, "Well then; it's made in a cow."_

_"A cow? That's gross!" he yelled. _

_"So are you calling Daisy gross?" _

_"Who's Daisy?"_

_Merry pointed over to a nearby field where a black and white cow chewed slowly on grass. "That's her! She's so cute!"_

_"That's even worse!" Joe shouted. _

_He poured the white milk out of his cup and onto the grass, turning the dirt into mud while shrugging, "Well at least it's good for one thing." _

_"Joe!"_

_He froze._

_"Daisy is not gross and you wasted milk!"_

_He was then given the beating of a lifetime. _

Of course he'd never tell them the real reason - that he'd been beaten up by a girl. He shuddered at the memory making everyone just as more curious.

"Just drink it and you can leave."

"I could just use my accelerator and be out of here in a flash you know," he said resting his chin on his folded arms. He was sitting on a back to front chair, still at the table with everyone else.

"Go on then. Prove to everyone and me that you really are a child."

He mumbled something incoherent under his breath and leaned back, "No way. I'm not drinking it."

Everyone except 003 sighed.

"Have it your way," 003 said.

009 sighed in relief. "About time…if anyone needs me-"

"I never said you could leave."

He looked back up at her. He got scared. She had a grin on her face that meant she was up to something…evil.

Taking the glass of milk, she drank some, but didn't swallow it.

"Oh big surprise. You're drinking it for me--"

In one quick movement, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and crushed her lips against his. A few cyborgs hollered. He didn't know who they were, but he'd find out. He regretted let his thoughts wonder when he felt the creamy liquid pour down his throat. Letting go of him, 009 fell off his chair and onto the ground, face as red as a beet. "Now, are you going to drink the rest of your milk, or do I have to do that again?" she asked after wiping the milk that was left away from her mouth with her hand.

Crawling back up onto his chair, 009 looked up at her, still red in the face. But then he looked back down at his milk. "…No. Way."

003 sighed. "Alright…" she said taking the half empty glass of milk. "This shouldn't take long."

002 and 007 both looked at each other. "We don't like milk either!" the shouted in unison.

But she was already too busy trying to get 009 to drink his. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and gave them both the thumbs up.

"Bastard," 002 mumbled under his breath.


End file.
